Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Journalists don't have a heart.

Today, I witnessed one of the many accidents that take place on highways. (I didn't have the heart to take snaps) There was this mentally retarded person, who was trying to cross the Western Express highway. I saw him trip over and collapse right in the middle of the highway lane. At this point, I just HOPED that he would come out safe. (There was nothing that could be done, as there were many speeding vehicles)

Hardly 2-3 seconds after the man collapsed, a bike ran over him. :(
This came as a big blow to my head. The guy on the bike also crashed. But he wasn't hurt. (He was wearing a helmet). He was thrown off by some distance, but came out unhurt.

I felt a cold chill when I noticed that the person who was run over, the mentally retarded person, wasn't moving. I know things like these happen all the time, but witnessing THAT started me thinking.

I had a camera in my bag. I could have taken it out and snapped a few photographs, maybe take a video of the entire scene. But something told me NOT to. It was a devastating sight. Something horrible had happened, and the poor victim needed help. Many cars stopped, people ran towards the person, grabbed and lifted him to the side of the road. He couldn't walk, or do ANYTHING. They set him on the side pavement, made him sit. But as soon as they let go of the support, he collapsed onto the pavement, rolling and curling within himself. Then two people put him in an auto rickshaw, and took him to the hospital for medical aid.

Two things strike out here...

1. If there's one thing that I have learned from this incident is that Mumbai is a city where religion, caste or the mother tongue of an individual doesn't matter. If a person injures himself badly, or if an old lady trips over a footpath, everybody comes running up to help them. They don't come up to you and ask whether you are a Hindu, a Muslim, or even Gujarati or Marathi for that matter.. (Heads Up MNS, Shiv Sena)

2. If there was a journalist there at the scene, what would he/she have done? "Take out the goddamn camera, we gotta shoot this! I've got some juicy content!"
Most of the people reporting DON'T have a heart. Sometimes I feel they're just plain dumb.

An example of Heartless journalism goes like this:

Take for example the Sarabjit case. This Indian guy is in jail in Pakistan, and is most probably gonna be hanged. A journalist goes to his residence in Punjab, India. What is the first question he asks his mother?

"Aapko kaisa lag raha hai?" ("How do you feel that your son is being executed?")
I mean, what do you f**king say to that?

An example of dumb journalism goes like this:

They covered the 26/11 at the Taj Hotel.
A very famous English news channel reporter just got hold of a Chinese chef, who had just escaped/been rescued from the hotel. What did he ask him?

"How do you feel? Are you scared?"
What answer did the guy expect? NO?
The chef is trying to go as far from the place as possible, and the "reporter" holds him up, and asks him THAT.

Why I'm saying this is that, again, Indian journalism has hit its utmost low point. I don't think it can sink ANY lower.

When I switch on the TV to ANY Hindi news channel, all I see is crappy news. I have posted several blogs on this, with pictures. Now when I see these sad "News stories" being reported, I don't even feel like taking snaps. At first it was real fun taking snaps of the awesome crap they showed us on news. I have a thousand images still to be posted.

News NOW comprises of:

1. "Television Serial" news - 15-20 minutes dedicated to each TV show. Starting from Balika Vadhu, to many others.

2. "Food Scam" news - Are YOU drinking bad MILK?, eating bad JAGGERY?

3. "Mythical" news - ALL myths WILL be projected as reality in this section. This section dominates all other sections. This type of news can be anything..from "Hell on Earth" and "River of the living dead" to "End of the earth in 2012" and even "Mysterious Waterfall".. I even have pics of ALL these to prove all of this, AND MORE!

4. "Sports" news - If India wins, they are hardworking, awesome gods. If India lose, they're f**king worse than the US cricket team, and they spend more time making Ads.

5. "Breaking" news - The four points mentioned above are a part of this section.

Man, I could go on. But I don't want to bore you :) (I know I already have :P)

Monday, July 13, 2009

Indian media’s take on Michael Jackson’s death.

By the Indian media, I basically mean the hindi news channels. I hate them :D.

I can have a go at them in the middle of the night, or even at gunpoint.

When a really, really famous celebrity passes away, there’s always a big commotion, with emotions flying all around. The death of Michael Jackson came as a shock to millions around the globe. It was tragic. Every speech that was delivered in the memorial gave everyone Goosebumps.

When MJ passed away, the news channels in India were caught napping, as they had NO clips on him, except for some footage of when he came to India.

What to do in this situation? The sensible way out would be to show clippings from his music videos, and report the career achievements, etc.

But NO, India TV came up with the single-most AWESOMEST idea EVER [Pardon my sarcasm :P].

They compares Michael Jackson to, get this, GOVINDA’s [should be kicked out of India] dance FIRST. Then they compared his dance to Jitendra [No comments]. Then came Hrithik Roshan [Bearable!], and in the end they gave Prabhu Deva some footage [Should have been the first, and the only one].

First of all, it is an insult to MJ to be compared to Govinda, or ANY other dancer from India (excepting a few). What a disgrace. Sadly, I don’t have snaps! :(

Enter next day, I switched on my television, more importantly, India TV :D

They were blabbering about the post mortem that was done on MJs body, and claimed to have the results =))

Note that MJs own FAMILY didn’t get any reports.

The making of a prime time television show @ India TV requires the following:

1] A dummy skeleton.

2] A rubber mask that is supposed to look like MJ.

3] An “expert” that will explain everything to the illiterate viewer.

4] Lies. [This is the most important part]

The headline reads: “Who broke MJs nose?”

I told you. They can go to the depths of humiliation to prove their “point”.

Skeleton, rubber mask, and the “expert” holding the mask. Unfortunately, I do not have audio, else I would have included the “Lies” part also! [Note that my TV is muted :)]

The headline reads: “MJs nose disappears”

Headline: “Where did MJs nose go?”

Please stop laughing =)) There was another headline that read, “Who stole MJs nose?”. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a snap of that!

The caption on the picture reads: “Nose disappears”.

All this is just a part of the post mortem report. :D

Then came the memorial. They showed the entire proceedings well, with less breaks in between, showing some respect. Or maybe just TRPs!

A day after MJs memorial, they came up with some more “Breaking” news. “Breaking News” rocks!

From this news report that they aired, I came to know that these Hindi News channels know that they show CRAPPY news, and they know people aren’t stupid to buy it.

I know it because, the news anchor standing and delivering news was saying, “Ye hamare news channel ki news report nahi hai, ye news Antarashtriya news channels bhi bata rahe hain” [This news report is not made up by our network, but news channels across the US are reporting it].

This time, it was about MJs memorial, and the fact that his body was not in the coffin during that period.

Big deal!

Headline reads: “Where DID MJs dead body go?”

They sensationalize EVERYTHING.

Look at their animation. Hilarious.

1] Coffin with body.

As you can see, the news anchor is pointing his hand towards the “amazing” animation of the dead body in the coffin, alerting the “illiterate” viewer what the picture shows. [We know what a body in a coffin looks like dummy :@]

2] Coffin without body.

OMG It’s GONE! Shit! Crap! The animation looks SOOOO real! Damn!


The pictures below show how the media thinks we are fools. I love the pointy arrow thingy!

The caption reads: "MJs coffin". [Sheet! I thought it was a n alien, hidden beneath a bed or roses, and escorted by the FBI!]

Look! The coffin IS the car!

Someone should step up to revive Indian media. Someone should start a movement. I say “someone” because I don’t want it to stop :P.

I have snapped like a million pictures from different news channels. At first I thought that I’ll blog about all of them! But there are so many! I get bored :(

The whole point of this post is nothing :P

I just feel SAD for all the people who actually BELIEVE all the crap that these news channels show!

Spreading urban legends, even trying to prove them true.

Crappy news is followed by more crappy news. It just WON’T end.

Swami Ramdev is going to court to protest against Section 377. Dude, grow up. There are more important things in life. Fight against the “andha-vishwas” that these channels spread. Throwing babies, walking all over them, will NOT cure them. It will kill them. A girl married to a dog isn’t news. Female feticide, sati, dowry still exist in society. Report them! Alert people! Let them know!

The only hindi news channel that seems to make sense is DD News. [Not sarcastic]. Please correct me if I’m wrong :).

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


What IS breaking news?

Is THIS breaking news? -->

Or THIS -->

Breaking News means different things to different people, or should I say, different News Channels!

Breaking News: The news that will keep even the uninterested people interested. Breaking News in India is like a gossip section in a College magazine.

Eg.: "Some lady slapped her BF on camera, while he was proposing"


"The family that whistles their way to fame"

Other news will have:

"Chhajjhe Par illo rani" (A cat climbed a roof)

"She's been up there for six and a half hours", says the ticker.

After an hour when I switched on the TV, the "Breaking News" read, "Aakhir khud kuud padi" (Finally, it jumped down by itself).


Here's one more - The commissioner's DOG has gone missing! Omfg! This is a national catastrophe! Somebody get the S.W.A.T. or something!

Gone to the dogs. (The news reads - "Commissioner's dog found")

After the WTC attacks, Indian media went through a good phase. But then Sting Ops started, and every channel had their own stuff to sell and to increase their TRPs.

Let's elaborate on News..

The time line is about 3 years ONLY. It starts from 2005 til date..

Some news channels exposed politicians, while others did Sting OPs on TV actors and celebs.
After this era, the Supreme Court banned these types of sting OPs.
People like Shakti Kapoor, Aman Varma were insulted and humiliated on National Television.

Then came the "Breaking news" era. News channels wanted to change heir image to a "happening news channel". So started some channel called "India TV". It started off nicely. But then, as their TRPs started to fall badly, they started a show called "Breaking News".

Now the thing is, there's a big red coloured ticker @ the bottom saying "Breaking News" all the time from 9 pm to 11 pm. So that the viewers are glued to the TV sets. They fooled us for the first month. How they did it?

Well, it's quite simple. They started off with a news story, a very interesting one, and then switch their attention to something else. The news that they had spoken about @ 9 pm, actually surfaced 10.20 pm. This happens daily!

But NOW, they've gone personal. They have a family problem everyday, LIVE on air..
There will be a wife with 2 children sitting in one city, and her In-Laws in another city. And they started creating fights, by asking stupid questions to both of them. People crying, fighting - higher TRPs. "Let them fight", they say! A-holes.

After the family dramas "lost" their way, the News channels came up with news from the villages. News that read, "Girl marries stone", "Dog with 2 legs living with ray of hope" and stuff like "Illiterate boy starts speaking English all of a sudden".

After this era, came the Ghost" era. Yes, they told of ghosts in the villages. At the beginning of the show, they'd say that they'll show you the ghost caught on tape. But they end up showing shit, like a cloth flying from one end of the room to the other, and stories told by villagers (well rehearsed) about "ghosts".

The Ghost era was followed by "The Youtube era". This is the present era, and the most fucked up yet.

You may have seen David Blaine, Mondo Magic, Chris Angel, or any of the host of magic shows that come on TV.

We know that it's a goddamn trick.
Now what news channels do is, they go to, and search for magic videos. They get some videos that read, "Chris angel flying in the air.walking on water",man goes through the great wall of china. Now, as you all know, these are tricks!

What the channels portray them as, is totally different.

The headline will read, "Kya aadmi udna seekh gaya?" (Has man learned to fly?) - This headline is referring to Chris Angel's levitation. At first, they show it as something really magical, and they say that he's actually flying, and there's nothing more to it!
They show the same clipping about a 100 times.
45 mins and 10 commercial breaks later, the channel "reveals" that the levitation is a "trick" and that "Kreees Angel" is a magician. I'm sitting there, watching this shit and thinking, "WTF is wrong with these guys?"

They have ripped off videos from Youtube like anything andshown many such videos till date.

And HOW can i possible forget the latest bakra of the news channels. You guessed it right - The Great Khali!
He made a mistake coming to India. He was made popular by WWE, a lot of people watch WWE in India. So, as it is, he was famous.

Now, the news channels come in. Their first news report on "The great khali" says that, "The Great Khali, who was working in Punjab Police, has been SUSPENDED from service". Then they had interviews of all the unrelated people in all the unrelated fields.

People who watch WWE,or those who used to watch, will laugh their ass off if they saw what Aaj Tak and India TV showed in their prime time slot. They showed matches between Khali and other wrestlers, and showed them as if they were really happening, and that he was fighting for his friggin life. They showed it like a TV serial, showing each blow THRICE. Get a life.

When he came to India, he was greeted by thousands of fans waiting at the airport. He would have been so happy!
1 week into his visit, he came to Mumbai. One of the news channel got an appointment with him - an interview in public. That news reporter was dressed up for a fight. He was asking him stupid questions, embarrassing him, humiliating him, humiliating us.

What news channels need to learn is, "SHOW THE FRIGGIN NATIONAL NEWS AND NOT FAMILY PROBLEMS THAT NO ONE CAN RELATE TO". I don' think that I could be more clear on this one.

There's loads more to write about, but I have to cut short, as I know that you'll be so bored right now!

If you are, I suggest you watch any hindi news channel. You'd be surprised that you're laughing your head off!

Best Regards!

BREAKING NEWS !! I'm ending this post!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Light, day and Global Warming!

I have nothing to write right now...So why not keek butt?
I'm really pissed off now :P

This time, it's the Municipal Corporation thats at fault. BIG fault.

These days, you're receiving messages/mails/scraps to switch off ALL lights on the 15th of December i.e today, to switch off all lights, to signify to the world that we've started the movement to stop global warming. Robbers will be out on the streets. It'll be like a jackpot for them lol!

I'll surely switch off my lights, and other appliances too. It's a good example set for the world to take note, and open their eyes...
I say WHY only Mumbai, why not the WHOLE country? Or all the countries in the world? EVERYONE. It won't hurt ANYONE, to switch off lights for such a short time!

Excepting hospitals, everyone can afford to follow these instructions with no problems!
Anyways, coming to my point...! In all of this, the municipal corporation does the TOTAL opposite of what they're supposed to do...

Street lights are *supposed* to be used in the night? That's common sense, right?
I mean there can't be anything simpler...Nights are dark, so we need some light...:P
Streetlight cycle...
It's a simple 1-2 process:

1. Streetlights are switched on in the evening.

2. People are happy.

Here comes the sad part...

It's like 3 pm. I'm returning from college...There are NO light repairations going on either (That's an excuse to keep the whole line of streetlights switched on)

This is case almost everyday!
Here's another...

I've got some more pics like these, of different areas...The above pics are from Sindhi Society...

Here's Mahim...

This pic was taken at about 12 noon. All the lights are switched on. Wow, it's dark out here in the sun!
And here's the flipside...

Dude, where's like, all the light gone? ;)

Ever heard of the "Fountain of the Youth" ?
Well, come to Mumbai... Or better, have a look at this "Drinking water" facility =))
I couldn't stop laughing!!!
In case you didn't notice, there are NO taps. None.
Wow, it's almost 7:30 pm, gotta switch off everything! (The grand awakening)
I'll touch on a more deeper issue in my next post. Till then, adios!

Naw...Presenteeng een englees...

Being a great phan of the crocs and the indian englees, I proudly presents "Englees - A tharro lessun"

Naw, here are some wurds/sentences said by world renowned teachers (these are real, believe me):

==>jhero = 0 (bleh!)

==>Dis one property (This property)

==>Dis one result derived from (This result is derived from...)

==>dis one result (This result...)

==>whatsoever we are saying (AHAHAHAH)

==>Capital 2 (Yes, u read it right)

==>yex = x

==>Can we listed some properties (we can list some properties...)

==>Which will be which continuing (Don't ask me what that means, I'm not a cryptologist :P)

==>anyone of u have a some idea (Do anyone of u have an idea?)

==>There is a one property (There is a property...)

==>Inverse of 'yex' and 'y' not belong to dis set (:-s)

==>If anyone of u have a doubt over some difficulty (dude, no.)

==>I claiming that...(Pls claim ASAP)

Resemblance of this to any real life incident is purely non-co-incidental lolz..not meant to harm anyone !

If you have some more like these, please post them ur comments!



Where is this World headed ?

In this post..

I'll not talk about TV shows like "10 Ka Dum" or any of that shit!
I'll not talk about war for the top position in Bollywood, or how some guy's dog is named Shah Rukh.

I think this is the perfect topic for today..

Where IS this world headed?

You may have planned what you're gonna do with your life..
You know.."I'm going abroad for studies" (stop braggin u idiot :P)

When you switch on your TV to a news channel (You want to watch MTV Roadies, but there are so many freakin' news channels today, even YOU could get a job as a reporter)..

SO you're flippin thru channels..You come across some new channels...
One of them saying "BREAKING NEWS: Woman marries dog in some place you haven't heard of", the other reading, "Crees Agnel (Chris Angel) ke kartab dekhiye: Dharti pe aaya superman"..


Coming to my point..
The news stories going around after 9/11 happened.. A revolution has occurred.. 
There have been serial blasts in god knows how many countries after 2001..So MANY people dying, One country's government condemning the attack on the other. 

Politicians have started thinking out of the box these days. Previously, they used to earn money from the conventional scams. But these days, they earn money out of the aid that they send to the victims.. 

For example, just Google these words - "corruption foreign aid". You'll get what I mean.

The government is just pretending to trying to stop terrorist activities..They don't give a rats ass for the people..Everything is taken for granted!

Apart from human bombs..There are natural disasters (I love this part, so I'm gonna write more on this) going on everywhere. Earthquakes, Floods, Cyclones killing uncountable people. Government figures of the number of people dying are not even HALF of the people that have actually lost their lives..

Cyclones that never happened in the past, just going through cities like they're havin a stroll!

Here's the list of natural calamities JUST in 2008:

China: Earthquake - May 2008
Myanmar: Tropical Cyclone Nargis - May 2008
Chile: Volcano Chaitén - May 2008
Thailand: Floods - May 2008
China: Typhoon Neoguri - Apr 2008
DR Congo: Airplane Crash - Apr 2008
Colombia: Nevado del Huila Volcano - Apr 2008
Papua New Guinea: Landslides - Apr 2008
Argentina: Floods - Mar 2008
Albania: Explosions - Mar 2008
Paraguay: Floods - Mar 2008
Mozambique: Cyclone Jokwe - Mar 2008
Kazakhstan: Floods - Mar 2008
Peru: Floods - Feb 2008
Philippines: Floods and Landslides - Feb 2008
Madagascar: Cyclone Ivan - Feb 2008
Ecuador: Floods - Feb 2008
Great Lakes: Earthquake - Feb 2008
South Pacific: Tropical Cyclone Gene - Jan 2008
Tajikistan: Cold Wave - Jan 2008
China: Cold Wave - Jan 2008
Brazil: Floods - Jan 2008
Tanzania: Floods - Jan 2008
Colombia: Volcanic Eruption - Jan 2008
Afghanistan: Avalanches and Heavy Snowfalls - Jan 2008
Ecuador: Tungurahua Volcano - Jan 2008
Chile: Volcano - Jan 2008
Kyrgyzstan: Osh Earthquake - Jan 2008

You hadn't heard of 90% of these calamities EVER occurring..The situation has already gone outta hand!

Infact, there have been so many disasters lately, magazines have started printing "The top 10  Natural Calamities of 2008" and so on..! 

The effects of Global Warming have started taking its toll on us..
Summers are damn hot..winters are colder...and the surprising thing is after all the awareness is spread all over national television and radios, PEOPLE don't respond. Nobody gives a shit.

Life goes on, everyones happy. The End. forgot the people! They aren't happy!

So, my question to YOU is..Where are we headed? Who dunnit? And what is the solution? :D

Post your comments! Thanks for reading!

PS: Will shed some more light on all this later..! Gotta sleep!!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Politics and Power

The season has arrived.

IPL. (No use talking about it)

These two events cannot co-exist in the same country at the same time! Such is their importance for the country's "progress".


I'm gonna speak only on the elections part.

Jaago re! Get out and vote! Even if you watched the TV for 5 minutes a day, you would have witnessed one of the politically inclined ads - be it the Jaago re ad, or the Majboot Neta-Nirnayak Sarkar ad, or the Congress ka haath-Aam aadmi ke saath (Ya right) ad..

First off, one of the "Vote Karo" ads that is done by the "perfectionist" Aamir Khan is bogus.
They tel you to SMS "MYNETA " to 56070, and you shall be given details of the candidate running for the post in your constituency.

When I saw the ad, I was so influenced that I decided to waste away Rs 3 for knowing details about the leaders im choosing from.

The SMS that I received back from these people was:
"Based on 2004 affidavit data (2009 data coming soon) - KAMAT GURUDAS - INC, Criminal Cases - No. Assets - 33894725, Liabilities - 0.00, Education Level - Post Graduate, for more call 1-800-110-440"

What did the ad promise? Details about my current candidate(s).
What did I get? Details of ONE leader from one party, and that too, the details are from the previos elections. 5 YEARS AGO.

What the hell am I supposed to understand about "my" candidate from this information?
My constituency is changed, and there are different candidates here. What if I'm interested in some other candidate? Why did the Election Commision give such importance to that ad and give it the support it didn't deserve? This is a big mess. Anyway, who am I to say anything? The perfectionist faulters :|

Then came the Varun Gandhi issue. Man, he said pretty bad words. This kind of behavious should not be accepted and the person should be barred from taking rallies for a week or two (Just like Raj Thackeray). But NO. Mayawati had different plans, she decided to take advantage of the situation. She arrested the man. Kept him in jail for 2-3 weeks.

During this 2-3 week period, several other well-known politicians came up with their own little "hate-speeches".  Lalu Prasad Yadav, Rabri Devi and some Shrinivasan.
The words that these three politicians used were a thousand times worse than what Varun had said.

Now comes the twist! The EC were said to be "going through" their speeches and possible prosecuting them, or taking action. The opposition were really interested on HOW the EC reacts to this. I, personally, was expecting the EC to leave Varun Gandhi for about 2 weeks (until the elections were over) and leave alone the other 3 politicians.

BANG. That's what EXACTLY happened. WHY? You friggin ask the EC, or the BSP, or the Congress (The government in power). When Varun Gandhi said those things, they were onto him like the corocodile in the Alpenlibe ad jumps to get his candy.
When the court left Varun Gandhi with a letter from his side stating that "He would never say a hate-speech again", the Congress leaders did not say a WORD about their own leaders givind hate-speeches, but instead, their spokesperson said that "Varun Gandhi has admitted to his fault". We friggin know THAT. What about your own party members who were left free without even a hearing? NO ANSWER.

I really don't think Varun Gandhi should have said what he said. But what happened next was a real example of what this government is capable of doing. Using power for all the wrong reasons.
Thats all it has done in the 56 years it has been in power.

They talk about the Godhra riots all the time and call Narendra Modi a murderer (Something of which he was cleared of by a commision that was set by the Congress). On the other hand, they never talk about Nandigram (more recent than Godhra) or the '84 Sikh Riots! I mean, WTF?

In the end you've got to choose from someone who is bad and someone who is worse.

Please don't mistake this as a one-sided post. I don't support any party (at least in my posts). I have just stated what I felt was going on.

All these are my personal thoughts, democratically speaking. I am writing this because I am scared of the government people infiltrating into my house and taking me into custody. But then again, GOVERNMENTS should be afraid of their people, and NOT the other way around.


(As mentioned before, I have just stated the obvious, apologies if I've hurt you in anyway)

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Cowards talk the LOUDEST.

This isn't ANYTHING personal on ANYONE. THESE ARE MY PERSONAL VIEWS. Sorry if I've hurt you. Sach kadwa hota hai :( :|

So where IS MaNaSa? Where are his relatives in the Shiv Sena? When Mumbai is in time of need for their support?

A day has passed, and everyone has spoken internationally...
Britain, Russia, the US of A..Everyone.

The havoc is in Mumbai. It is affecting mumbaikars. 
In recent times, there has been a party who has told every Marathi manus that they are with them, and that they will support them and help them come what may.
They wrecked Mumbai when they started a riot when their Minister was supposed to go for a simple court trial. 
The closed every fkin street in Mumbai. They blocked traffic. The burnt cars, buses and broke down public property.

All this, they say, they did for the Marathi Manus and their well-being. Well they even broke down a Marathi manus' car, and many others. I guess there was a bomb or something in that car.
Anyway, my POINT here is, whether Raj cares about them AT ALL. He's there for VOTES and nothing else. Why don't people understand that?

NOT a SINGLE statement has come out of his mouth since the attack on Mumbai has happened. He hasn't made a public appearence. His angry, protesting "supporters" are nowhere to be seen. 

NO Indian politician has taken advantage of this situation because they know that it is graver than anything they have seen before. 

What I want is, the Raj supporters..who wrecked Mumbai for a small reason, who kill people when they're told, who run like maniacs in the streets of Mumbai like they own the goddamn place, to go to Taj and the Oberoi and infiltrate the place, just like they stopped Mumbai. Just like they killed the innocent people.

I can't describe what's goin on in my mind right now. It's all havoc. Innocent people dying unnecessarily. Go out, make a fkin difference :|

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Sledging in Cricket.

Best Cricket Sledges

Wikipedia refers to sledging as 'exchanging words with opposition player(s) which can put him (them) off their usual game; it is an attempt to "psych out" an opponent'. Cricket is a very interesting game, and sledging adds to it the extra spice that make it much more than just game.

Here's is a collection of such incidents....These are just a few, you know.


Sledging has always been a part of cricket. Even the great WG Grace did it. Once in an exhibition match given out leg-before, he refused to walk and told the umpire: " They came to watch me bat, not you bowl ". And the innings continued.

Grace's ability to stand his ground would have done Sunil Gavaskar proud. Once, when the ball knocked off a bail, he replaced it and told the umpire: " Twas the wind which took thy bail orf, good sir ."

The umpire replied: "Indeed, doctor, and let us hope thy wind helps the good doctor on thy journey back to the pavilion ."

The best WG Grace sledge was on him, though, not from him. Charles Kortright had dismissed him four or five times in a county game - only for the umpires to keep turning down his appeals. Finally, he uprooted two of Grace's three stumps. Grace stalled, as though waiting for a no-ball call or something, before reluctantly walking off with Kortright's words in his ears: "Surely you're not going, doctor? There's still one stump standing."

The Prasad Vs Sohail Incident : Hero to Zero in 3 easy steps

Chasing India's score of 287-8, pakistan got off to a flyer of a start, Amir Sohail and Saeed Anwar went about tearing the Indian bowling attack. Pakistan looked all set to win as they reached 110 odd for the loss of just 1 wicket within the 15 overs.

1. Play a Great Shot: Amir Sohail was completely bent on demolishing the Indian bowling to pieces, charging down the track to the faster bowlers (if u can call Prasad that) in this particular case he came down the ground (a good 4-5 steps, anymore and he would have hit Prasad too) and slashed the bowl over vacant off side area... the ball disappeared into the fence in a flash ... what followed has since been etched in the memories of every cricket fan in the subcontinent.

2. Act Oversmart: Amir Sohail is no Miandad. But he tries to be,and fails miserably. Sohail after hitting the shot pointed his bat the area where the bowl had disappeared and then towards Prasad apparently gesturing where he will send the next one .

Its not everyday that you see a batsman sledging the bowler, and Sohail was about to learn just why.

3. Get what you called for: Sohail attempting to repeat the shot (albeit with his feet stuck to the ground this time) made room and exposed his stumps, and his weakness, and in return lost his wicket and his face.

As the wicket lay uprooted, Prasad returned the favour to Sohail, pointing to the pavilion this time.

The comeback was truly remarkable, almost a miracle .... Prasad has bowled thousands of deliveries and taken hundereds of wickets in his career but, it was this one granted him a place in the History of Indian Cricket .. for ever... the ghost of Miandad's last ball six was exorcised, once and for all.

You can also watch the full video here.

Steve Waugh Vs Curtly Ambrose Episode.

It really does not get any bigger than this, the two legends of cricket came face to face, literally and engrossed in a verbal duel in a test match in Trinidad. All the juicy details were not to be k

nown until Steve Waugh came out with his autobiography.

Ambrose repeatedly stared Waugh down during a searing spell, and Waugh, who sized up the towering Ambrose, said: " What the f*ck are you looking at? "

Ambrose was stunned because, as Waugh says (in his Autobiography), "no one had ever been stupid enough" to speak to him like that.

Ambrose replied, "Don't cuss me, man", before Waugh's response, which had nothing to do with bowling.

"Unfortunately, nothing inventive or witty came to mind, rather another piece of personal abuse: 'Why don't you go and get f*cked.' "

The Windies skipper Richie Richardson had a hard time keeping Ambrose from hurting the Aussie.

McGrath Vs Brandes
(the Best one till now….)

In a showdown of best pacers of two countries, Brandes made up for his complete absence of batting skills by some displaying some great sense of humor and presence of mind.

Aussie paceman Glenn McGrath was bowling to Zimbabwe number 11 Eddo Brandes - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: " Why are you so fat?"

Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit ."

Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics!

Viv Richards v Greg Thomas

This incident took place during a county championship match between Glamorgan and Somerset.

Glamorgan quickie Greg Thomas had beaten Viv Richards' bat a couple of times and informed the legendary West Indian ace: " It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering."

The very next ball was given the King Viv treament and smashed out of the groun

d, into a river - at which point Richards piped up: " Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go and find it."

Merv Hughes and Viv Richards:

Merv Hughes usually never short of a word while on the field, rarely keeps quite. During a test match in the West Indies Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. " This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: " In my culture we just say f*ck off. "

Sachin Tendulkar Vs Abdul Qadir!

The year was 1989, the little master had recently made his debut in Pakistan.

Sachin not even old enough to get a driving licence Sachin Tendulkar was facing the best bowlers in the business.

As the Pakistani crows jeered and mocked Sachin holding out the placards saying "Dudh Pita Bhachcha ..ghar jaake dhoodh pee", (hey kid, go home and drink milk), Sachin sent the then young leg spinner Mustaq Ahmed hiding for cover (he had hit two sixes in one over. The frustaded mentor of Mustaq Ahmed the legendary Abdul Qadir challenges Sachin saying " Bachchon ko kyon mar rahe ho? Hamein bhi maar dikhao ` (`Why are you hitting kids? Try and hit me.`).

Sachin was silent, since then we all have come to know that he lets his bat do

the talking. Abdul Quadir had made a simple request and Sachin obliged, and how. Sachin hit 4 sixes in the over, making the spinner look the kid in the contest. The over read 6, 0, 4, 6 6 6, David had felled Goliath ... and a legend was born.

Monday, June 2, 2008

More Mis-Adventures !

Here I am, 3 days into my visit to Ahmedabad, sitting on a Sunday night, having missed two great IPL Matches and one hell of a Formula 1 race! I don’t regret that !!

The only channels we get at my nani’s place are Doordarshan National and DD News :o.

These channels have not changed since independence! They still have the same anchors and news readers, the same shows, and the same old logo!

The news channel doesn’t get any video clips from the IPL to show off, so they just show the teams practicing at the nets.. What’s more, they show the score of the first innings of a match, and totally forget about the second innings!


I played Volleyball for the first time in my life here. And let me tell you.. I SUCK at it! Whenever I tried to hit the ball hard way up, it went over my head, behind me. My friends said that if I stood facing the other side, I might get the ball to the other side of the net =)) LMAO. Man I was laughing like hell today =)).

Monday (26-05-2008)

Woke up today to the earliest of sunrises that I’ve seen, EVER. It was around 0545 HRS and the sun was well up! The day had begun, and might I add, quite early for me :P. Brushed, bathed and had breakfast. When I was done with all this, the time still read 0830. Too early. So..I went to sleep again :D. woke up half an hour later, saw a movie “Two Weeks Notice”. Good Movie!

Then went out with my mom.  She had to get her blood test done today. She thinks she has Diabetes. I know she doesn’t. Just a little anxiety ;). Damn, it was so HOT! She gave her blood sample, and we went off to a supermarket named “More.”. “A typical Gujarat Supermarket name”, I thought. What’s “MORE” (No Pun Intended), it has a full stop in its name. So, NO MORE after More. =)). So much for jokes.

Anyway, we went inside, and there we saw one of the biggest supermarket in Ahmedabad. (Not sarcastic). ‘Twas quite a store! It had everything. We did our shopping, left the damn place.

My mom suggested a great place to have Dosa (which is btw my favourite phood). We went there, just a few blocks away.. It was on the 1st floor (Still is). The prices there raised an eyebrow. A “Plain” Dosa (it’s what they called it) cost 60 bux. SIXTY BUX for a sada dosa that I get for EIGHT BUX ANYWHERE in MUMBAI. “Maybe size matters”, I thought.

Then came the moment of truth. The Dosa came, the size was even SMALLER than the dosa I got for EIGHT BUX. The best this was that they gave us a chirag (lamp) full of sambar and four different types of chutneys. I mean, WHAT THE HELL am I gonna do with all this stuff, when I have such a teency-weency Dosaaa!!! Arggh!! SIXTY BUX!

Anyway, I finished the dosa, and what’s more – My mom and me finished all of the extra sambar they gave us (Acting like true gujjus) and on top of that, finished most of the chutneys too, AND we didn’t tip the waiter =)). VALUE FOR MONEY. I mean even Dosa Diner doesn’t charge that much for a friggin dosa!

We got back home, I watched another movie, and went to sleep. Then I woke up and started writing about my day’s experience on my Laptop (It’s my bros, but I like to brag). I wrote that I woke up at 0545 HRS (Morning LOL) to the most earliest sunrises I’d EVER seen…blah blah blah blah…blah blah…………….BLAH.