!!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

What IS breaking news?

Is THIS breaking news? -->


Or THIS -->


Breaking News means different things to different people, or should I say, different News Channels!


Breaking News: The news that will keep even the uninterested people interested. Breaking News in India is like a gossip section in a College magazine.

Eg.: "Some lady slapped her BF on camera, while he was proposing"

or

"The family that whistles their way to fame"

Other news will have:

"Chhajjhe Par illo rani" (A cat climbed a roof)

"She's been up there for six and a half hours", says the ticker.

After an hour when I switched on the TV, the "Breaking News" read, "Aakhir khud kuud padi" (Finally, it jumped down by itself).

Lame.

Here's one more - The commissioner's DOG has gone missing! Omfg! This is a national catastrophe! Somebody get the S.W.A.T. or something!


Gone to the dogs. (The news reads - "Commissioner's dog found")

After the WTC attacks, Indian media went through a good phase. But then Sting Ops started, and every channel had their own stuff to sell and to increase their TRPs.

Let's elaborate on News..

The time line is about 3 years ONLY. It starts from 2005 til date..

Some news channels exposed politicians, while others did Sting OPs on TV actors and celebs.
After this era, the Supreme Court banned these types of sting OPs.
People like Shakti Kapoor, Aman Varma were insulted and humiliated on National Television.

Then came the "Breaking news" era. News channels wanted to change heir image to a "happening news channel". So started some channel called "India TV". It started off nicely. But then, as their TRPs started to fall badly, they started a show called "Breaking News".

Now the thing is, there's a big red coloured ticker @ the bottom saying "Breaking News" all the time from 9 pm to 11 pm. So that the viewers are glued to the TV sets. They fooled us for the first month. How they did it?


Well, it's quite simple. They started off with a news story, a very interesting one, and then switch their attention to something else. The news that they had spoken about @ 9 pm, actually surfaced 10.20 pm. This happens daily!

But NOW, they've gone personal. They have a family problem everyday, LIVE on air..
There will be a wife with 2 children sitting in one city, and her In-Laws in another city. And they started creating fights, by asking stupid questions to both of them. People crying, fighting - higher TRPs. "Let them fight", they say! A-holes.

After the family dramas "lost" their way, the News channels came up with news from the villages. News that read, "Girl marries stone", "Dog with 2 legs living with ray of hope" and stuff like "Illiterate boy starts speaking English all of a sudden".

After this era, came the Ghost" era. Yes, they told of ghosts in the villages. At the beginning of the show, they'd say that they'll show you the ghost caught on tape. But they end up showing shit, like a cloth flying from one end of the room to the other, and stories told by villagers (well rehearsed) about "ghosts".

The Ghost era was followed by "The Youtube era". This is the present era, and the most fucked up yet.

You may have seen David Blaine, Mondo Magic, Chris Angel, or any of the host of magic shows that come on TV.

We know that it's a goddamn trick.
Now what news channels do is, they go to www.youtube.com, and search for magic videos. They get some videos that read, "Chris angel flying in the air.walking on water",man goes through the great wall of china. Now, as you all know, these are tricks!

What the channels portray them as, is totally different.

The headline will read, "Kya aadmi udna seekh gaya?" (Has man learned to fly?) - This headline is referring to Chris Angel's levitation. At first, they show it as something really magical, and they say that he's actually flying, and there's nothing more to it!
They show the same clipping about a 100 times.
45 mins and 10 commercial breaks later, the channel "reveals" that the levitation is a "trick" and that "Kreees Angel" is a magician. I'm sitting there, watching this shit and thinking, "WTF is wrong with these guys?"

They have ripped off videos from Youtube like anything andshown many such videos till date.

And HOW can i possible forget the latest bakra of the news channels. You guessed it right - The Great Khali!
He made a mistake coming to India. He was made popular by WWE, a lot of people watch WWE in India. So, as it is, he was famous.

Now, the news channels come in. Their first news report on "The great khali" says that, "The Great Khali, who was working in Punjab Police, has been SUSPENDED from service". Then they had interviews of all the unrelated people in all the unrelated fields.

People who watch WWE,or those who used to watch, will laugh their ass off if they saw what Aaj Tak and India TV showed in their prime time slot. They showed matches between Khali and other wrestlers, and showed them as if they were really happening, and that he was fighting for his friggin life. They showed it like a TV serial, showing each blow THRICE. Get a life.

When he came to India, he was greeted by thousands of fans waiting at the airport. He would have been so happy!
1 week into his visit, he came to Mumbai. One of the news channel got an appointment with him - an interview in public. That news reporter was dressed up for a fight. He was asking him stupid questions, embarrassing him, humiliating him, humiliating us.

What news channels need to learn is, "SHOW THE FRIGGIN NATIONAL NEWS AND NOT FAMILY PROBLEMS THAT NO ONE CAN RELATE TO". I don' think that I could be more clear on this one.

There's loads more to write about, but I have to cut short, as I know that you'll be so bored right now!

If you are, I suggest you watch any hindi news channel. You'd be surprised that you're laughing your head off!

Best Regards!

BREAKING NEWS !! I'm ending this post!

Light, day and Global Warming!

I have nothing to write right now...So why not keek butt?
I'm really pissed off now :P

This time, it's the Municipal Corporation thats at fault. BIG fault.

These days, you're receiving messages/mails/scraps to switch off ALL lights on the 15th of December i.e today, to switch off all lights, to signify to the world that we've started the movement to stop global warming. Robbers will be out on the streets. It'll be like a jackpot for them lol!

I'll surely switch off my lights, and other appliances too. It's a good example set for the world to take note, and open their eyes...

I say WHY only Mumbai, why not the WHOLE country? Or all the countries in the world? EVERYONE. It won't hurt ANYONE, to switch off lights for such a short time!

Excepting hospitals, everyone can afford to follow these instructions with no problems!

Anyways, coming to my point...! In all of this, the municipal corporation does the TOTAL opposite of what they're supposed to do...

Street lights are *supposed* to be used in the night? That's common sense, right?

I mean there can't be anything simpler...Nights are dark, so we need some light...:P

Streetlight cycle...

It's a simple 1-2 process:

1. Streetlights are switched on in the evening.

2. People are happy.

Here comes the sad part...

It's like 3 pm. I'm returning from college...There are NO light repairations going on either (That's an excuse to keep the whole line of streetlights switched on)

This is case almost everyday!

Here's another...

I've got some more pics like these, of different areas...The above pics are from Sindhi Society...

Here's Mahim...

This pic was taken at about 12 noon. All the lights are switched on. Wow, it's dark out here in the sun!

And here's the flipside...

Dude, where's like, all the light gone? ;)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ever heard of the "Fountain of the Youth" ?

Well, come to Mumbai... Or better, have a look at this "Drinking water" facility =))

I couldn't stop laughing!!!

In case you didn't notice, there are NO taps. None.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!

Bravo!

Wow, it's almost 7:30 pm, gotta switch off everything! (The grand awakening)

I'll touch on a more deeper issue in my next post. Till then, adios!

Naw...Presenteeng een englees...

Being a great phan of the crocs and the indian englees, I proudly presents "Englees - A tharro lessun"

Naw, here are some wurds/sentences said by world renowned teachers (these are real, believe me):

==>jhero = 0 (bleh!)

==>Dis one property (This property)

==>Dis one result derived from (This result is derived from...)

==>dis one result (This result...)

==>whatsoever we are saying (AHAHAHAH)

==>Capital 2 (Yes, u read it right)

==>yex = x

==>Can we listed some properties (we can list some properties...)

==>Which will be which continuing (Don't ask me what that means, I'm not a cryptologist :P)

==>anyone of u have a some idea (Do anyone of u have an idea?)

==>There is a one property (There is a property...)

==>Inverse of 'yex' and 'y' not belong to dis set (:-s)

==>If anyone of u have a doubt over some difficulty (dude, no.)

==>I claiming that...(Pls claim ASAP)

Resemblance of this to any real life incident is purely non-co-incidental lolz..not meant to harm anyone !

If you have some more like these, please post them ur comments!

Regards,

Adijo

Where is this World headed ?

In this post..

I'll not talk about TV shows like "10 Ka Dum" or any of that shit!

I'll not talk about war for the top position in Bollywood, or how some guy's dog is named Shah Rukh.

I think this is the perfect topic for today..

Where IS this world headed?

You may have planned what you're gonna do with your life..

You know.."I'm going abroad for studies" (stop braggin u idiot :P)

When you switch on your TV to a news channel (You want to watch MTV Roadies, but there are so many freakin' news channels today, even YOU could get a job as a reporter)..

SO you're flippin thru channels..You come across some new channels...

One of them saying "BREAKING NEWS: Woman marries dog in some place you haven't heard of", the other reading, "Crees Agnel (Chris Angel) ke kartab dekhiye: Dharti pe aaya superman"..

GROW UP..

Coming to my point..

The news stories going around after 9/11 happened.. A revolution has occurred.. 

There have been serial blasts in god knows how many countries after 2001..So MANY people dying, One country's government condemning the attack on the other. 

Politicians have started thinking out of the box these days. Previously, they used to earn money from the conventional scams. But these days, they earn money out of the aid that they send to the victims.. 

For example, just Google these words - "corruption foreign aid". You'll get what I mean.

The government is just pretending to trying to stop terrorist activities..They don't give a rats ass for the people..Everything is taken for granted!

Apart from human bombs..There are natural disasters (I love this part, so I'm gonna write more on this) going on everywhere. Earthquakes, Floods, Cyclones killing uncountable people. Government figures of the number of people dying are not even HALF of the people that have actually lost their lives..

Cyclones that never happened in the past, just going through cities like they're havin a stroll!

Here's the list of natural calamities JUST in 2008:

China: Earthquake - May 2008

Myanmar: Tropical Cyclone Nargis - May 2008

Chile: Volcano Chaitén - May 2008

Thailand: Floods - May 2008

China: Typhoon Neoguri - Apr 2008

DR Congo: Airplane Crash - Apr 2008

Colombia: Nevado del Huila Volcano - Apr 2008

Papua New Guinea: Landslides - Apr 2008

Argentina: Floods - Mar 2008

Albania: Explosions - Mar 2008

Paraguay: Floods - Mar 2008

Mozambique: Cyclone Jokwe - Mar 2008

Kazakhstan: Floods - Mar 2008

Peru: Floods - Feb 2008

Philippines: Floods and Landslides - Feb 2008

Madagascar: Cyclone Ivan - Feb 2008

Ecuador: Floods - Feb 2008

Great Lakes: Earthquake - Feb 2008

South Pacific: Tropical Cyclone Gene - Jan 2008

Tajikistan: Cold Wave - Jan 2008

China: Cold Wave - Jan 2008

Brazil: Floods - Jan 2008

Tanzania: Floods - Jan 2008

Colombia: Volcanic Eruption - Jan 2008

Afghanistan: Avalanches and Heavy Snowfalls - Jan 2008

Ecuador: Tungurahua Volcano - Jan 2008

Chile: Volcano - Jan 2008

Kyrgyzstan: Osh Earthquake - Jan 2008

You hadn't heard of 90% of these calamities EVER occurring..The situation has already gone outta hand!

Infact, there have been so many disasters lately, magazines have started printing "The top 10  Natural Calamities of 2008" and so on..! 

The effects of Global Warming have started taking its toll on us..

Summers are damn hot..winters are colder...and the surprising thing is after all the awareness is spread all over national television and radios, PEOPLE don't respond. Nobody gives a shit.

Life goes on, everyones happy. The End.

WAIT..you forgot the people! They aren't happy!

Hmph!

So, my question to YOU is..Where are we headed? Who dunnit? And what is the solution? :D

Post your comments! Thanks for reading!

PS: Will shed some more light on all this later..! Gotta sleep!!

Politics and Power

The season has arrived.

Elections.

IPL. (No use talking about it)

These two events cannot co-exist in the same country at the same time! Such is their importance for the country's "progress".

(PROGRESS lol)

I'm gonna speak only on the elections part.

Jaago re! Get out and vote! Even if you watched the TV for 5 minutes a day, you would have witnessed one of the politically inclined ads - be it the Jaago re ad, or the Majboot Neta-Nirnayak Sarkar ad, or the Congress ka haath-Aam aadmi ke saath (Ya right) ad..

First off, one of the "Vote Karo" ads that is done by the "perfectionist" Aamir Khan is bogus.

They tel you to SMS "MYNETA " to 56070, and you shall be given details of the candidate running for the post in your constituency.

When I saw the ad, I was so influenced that I decided to waste away Rs 3 for knowing details about the leaders im choosing from.

The SMS that I received back from these people was:

"Based on 2004 affidavit data (2009 data coming soon) - KAMAT GURUDAS - INC, Criminal Cases - No. Assets - 33894725, Liabilities - 0.00, Education Level - Post Graduate, for more call 1-800-110-440"

What did the ad promise? Details about my current candidate(s).

What did I get? Details of ONE leader from one party, and that too, the details are from the previos elections. 5 YEARS AGO.

What the hell am I supposed to understand about "my" candidate from this information?

My constituency is changed, and there are different candidates here. What if I'm interested in some other candidate? Why did the Election Commision give such importance to that ad and give it the support it didn't deserve? This is a big mess. Anyway, who am I to say anything? The perfectionist faulters :|

Then came the Varun Gandhi issue. Man, he said pretty bad words. This kind of behavious should not be accepted and the person should be barred from taking rallies for a week or two (Just like Raj Thackeray). But NO. Mayawati had different plans, she decided to take advantage of the situation. She arrested the man. Kept him in jail for 2-3 weeks.

During this 2-3 week period, several other well-known politicians came up with their own little "hate-speeches".  Lalu Prasad Yadav, Rabri Devi and some Shrinivasan.

The words that these three politicians used were a thousand times worse than what Varun had said.

Now comes the twist! The EC were said to be "going through" their speeches and possible prosecuting them, or taking action. The opposition were really interested on HOW the EC reacts to this. I, personally, was expecting the EC to leave Varun Gandhi for about 2 weeks (until the elections were over) and leave alone the other 3 politicians.

BANG. That's what EXACTLY happened. WHY? You friggin ask the EC, or the BSP, or the Congress (The government in power). When Varun Gandhi said those things, they were onto him like the corocodile in the Alpenlibe ad jumps to get his candy.

When the court left Varun Gandhi with a letter from his side stating that "He would never say a hate-speech again", the Congress leaders did not say a WORD about their own leaders givind hate-speeches, but instead, their spokesperson said that "Varun Gandhi has admitted to his fault". We friggin know THAT. What about your own party members who were left free without even a hearing? NO ANSWER.

I really don't think Varun Gandhi should have said what he said. But what happened next was a real example of what this government is capable of doing. Using power for all the wrong reasons.

Thats all it has done in the 56 years it has been in power.

They talk about the Godhra riots all the time and call Narendra Modi a murderer (Something of which he was cleared of by a commision that was set by the Congress). On the other hand, they never talk about Nandigram (more recent than Godhra) or the '84 Sikh Riots! I mean, WTF?

In the end you've got to choose from someone who is bad and someone who is worse.

Please don't mistake this as a one-sided post. I don't support any party (at least in my posts). I have just stated what I felt was going on.

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All these are my personal thoughts, democratically speaking. I am writing this because I am scared of the government people infiltrating into my house and taking me into custody. But then again, GOVERNMENTS should be afraid of their people, and NOT the other way around.

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(As mentioned before, I have just stated the obvious, apologies if I've hurt you in anyway)